“Hi, my name is Tobi and I am a grateful recovering addict. Don’t let the name fool you because I am in fact, a girl. My story goes something like this;”
I grew up in an alcoholic home with a mother that was never home and a father that, even though he was never mean to me, still had all of the problems that went along with being an alcoholic. I loved my daddy, he was the most important thing in my life and I went everywhere with him.
When I was ten years old I started occasionally drinking with neighbor kids or whoever had the guts to steal the liquor from their parents, which wasn’t hard to find. Even from a very young age I always drank to get drunk and if there wasn’t enough to get me drunk, I didn’t see a point in drinking.
Then, I fell into the world of drugs. I started off like most people, smoking a joint or two whenever I was with someone who had it. Marijuana became my life. I lived for it. I thought that was the only “cool” thing to do in my town and I of course, being the free-spirited, wild kind of person that I am, had to have as much fun as possible. Soon after, I had my first encounter with cocaine and I was off to a crazy start then because I loved it. It made me feel better that I had ever felt in my life. The next day, I was introduced to crystal methadrine, and that was even better.
Well, a lot of things happened that week, including being raped by the cocaine dealer that had introduced me to my new world. I became pregnant but due to my drug use, my baby, whom I named Angel, never came to term. I don’t remember a whole lot more about life after that except for a lot of hard-core partying, drug-dealing, lying, stealing, cheating, humiliation, sickness, and confusion. I started losing all of my friends because nobody wanted to hang out with a Junkie that was in the back room shootin’ up whatever anybody handed her, while everyone else was in the front room drinking and having fun.
I finally got so sick that I started flippin’ out and I got sent 2,000 miles away from home, to Illinois, for inpatient rehabilitation. When I went into treatment I weighed 90 pounds and I was dying. I stayed in rehab for 7 months and when I got out I came to live with my sister. I am doing really good now and my life is headed in a positive direction. I have goals, hopes, and dreams now that I would never even think of giving up. I made a decision almost a year ago to fight for my life and to never let my addiction win and so far, I have succeeded.
“I will be celebrating 1 year clean and serene in November 1999, and I am happier that I have ever been. I am only seventeen, so, if I can do it anyone can.”
I’d like to share a bit of my story with you all. I started drinking @ age 18, nothing much, maybe 2 or 3 times a month, when we all went out to dances. Then a few years later I settled down with a much older man who was really set in his ways. He loved staying at the local pub and drink his days away. So I thought…can’t beat ’em… join ’em.So as time went by I started drinking more and more and finding ways to get my mother to give my child the attention and love she deserved. A couple of years of this, with major hangovers, and blackouts. We broke up because of me cheating(when I was drinking alone, I always felt lonely and would end up cheating). So another couple of years passed and although I wasn’t drinking as often as I used to, the hangovers were getting worse and longer, the blackouts were happening even after just 1 or 2 drinks. I started talking to a family member about this who was in recovery and after several monthes of talking about it, I decided to quit. That was a friday, I went to my neighbors place that night and she convinced me(tormented me was more like it) to have a few drinks. So I said yes. They went down like water. The next day my mother brought home my daughter and almost sat in a huge day bed full of vomit. I felt embarressed and afraid, I didn’t even remember much from the night before. I went to my first 12 step meeting that Saturday night , hangover and all, with my sponsor . That was 10 years ago last month. I have been sober since. I didn’t hit the “famous rock bottom”, but I knew I couldn’t live like that anymore. I still went out with friends and we had good times, but because of the talk we all had about my addiction, they no longer tried to coax me into drinking. Before I started drinking I was a very outgoing person, I started to loose that along the way, I had to be half cut to leave the house. It took me about 8 monthes to even talk to someone strange in a club, God, it even felt weird talking to people I knew with my head no longer in the clouds. It got easier and easier. I gave myself the daily pep talk about living my life and remembering it. I love my life now, booze free and I met a wonderful man along the way also in recovery and I still go out every now and then, party with family and friends , but I no longer even think about having that first drink. It was just a matter of making a life style change. There are people out there ready and willing to help, just make the first step and admit what is wrong, take charge of your life again and make that call. God Bless you all.
Signed…A friend of the Sobriety Center
I swear “a friend of Sobriety center”, our stories could be one. I too, was a physical drunk… drank not because of problems or a difficult life, I drank to get drunk, I loved the taste of beer. I loved going out and dancing, talking to people.When I decided that the blackouts and hangovers were enough , I didn’t want alcohol to take away the one thing I loved most, and that was going out and socializing with friends. I was strong and able to go out to social events and not drink. I talked to friends and family about my decision to quit and they stood behind me. Sure I have people that thought I was going to slip because I still went out, but I guess we were part of the few that can still do what we were doing and quit the habit. I know there are people out there that choose not to put themselves in a situation where they could be tempted, and I respect their decision but eveyone has different ways of coping/dealing with their addiction. I judge no one and I would hope that no one would judge me. I am very proud of my sobriety , I hold the last 7 years close to my heart. Good luck to you all. Blessed be. Jasmine C. , Toronto,ON.